Monday, February 25, 2013

Purpose and Intent

Is there a difference between a purpose and an intent?
There are times in life when you happen upon an individual that is so very dedicated to something it's part of their core. The dedication is so intense it makes you stop and pause and wonder - why are they so committed to this, what do they get out of it, who is paying them - I mean the questions could be unending.
I'm sure that I too have encountered those spoken and unspoken.
It can be hard to explain to another the passion and dedication that you have to a cause, an effort, a fight that it too becomes your journey although it hasn't directly touched you. I realize that there aren't enough words within me (and there are plenty) to explain enough to enable anyone else to comprehend.  There are times when I can't explain it to myself.  The best I can come up with is it my purpose, what is intended for me to do. It is HIS will.
This responsibility comes with its ups, downs and lots of emotions. 
today being one of those days I was drawn to release and writing is one of the ways that I do that.  I have to because if I kept it all inside, I don't know that I'd be able to continue. 
The days of sadness because there are far too many that suffer and are called home unto HIM.  Although we claim to understand and get angry at the loss of the fighting spirit of those we know and love, we believe and realize that they are now truly free.  The days when you hear of yet another that has received a diagnosis of any kind and the families that are at a loss as there is no way to prepare.
The days of joy, to know that yet another has completed all treatments and no longer needs to receive any medications.  The joy in their faces as they watch their hair return slowly and then viola, a full head of hair.  The joy in seeing that fighting spirit take over as they forge ahead on their new journey.
Each day there are far too many that encounter this journey.
Many days I travel this journey as a soloist, yet am accompanied by many in spirit.
It is challenging to face down those that are opposed to the manner in which you carve out your niche. 
What I do know, is that this is a extremely emotional journey for the individual, their families, friends and those of us that advocate on their behalf. Some days I am so overwhelmed with emotion I can't contain it and have to let the floodgates loose.  There's something to be said for compassion, because it does come at a cost.  The cost is some tears, okay maybe a lot of tears, heartfelt emotion and the love of another.
I know it isn't happening to me, but the pain and emotions are so strong it's as though it is me.  How do you explain that to a fighter, a non-supporter or anyone for that matter?  You can't, because it just is.
I love my survivors, conquerors or any name that they choose to go by - Sally, Virginia, Toni, Beth, Tarnia, Sharyel, Keva, Elizabeth, Norita and Brigida to name a few.  I love what I do as it comes from a place so deep inside me that it can't be touched or identified.
It just grows and grows as it slowly overtakes me. 
So who am I to question what has been bestowed upon me?
I am but just a woman on a mission.
I am a woman focused intently on goal with a purpose.

I am My Sister's Keeper

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