Monday, October 10, 2011

Mad as HELL!

I'm not rich barely middle class and that is based on my real life day to day. 
I know the difference between the haves and the just getting by's. 
But I do know how lucky I am to have a passion and living each day to fufill it. 
Breast Cancer Awareness is the passion I eat, sleep, live and breathe and write about.  
I have what I thought was a long list of freinds, but now I often wonder. 
I know it takes a long time to build and develop a friendship, so maybe I should call them relationships. 
I should acknowledge that maybe the season has passed and they have moved on and here I sit. 
There are times when I feel like a failure, and for some reason it's getting confirmed. 
I BUST MY ASS everyday, planning events, working with others, talking and speaking about Breast Cancer and the response is so limited like I'm speaking a foreign language or some dirty little secret. 
I often wonder what does it take for people to DO SOMETHING
I'm willing to sacrifice and and do what needs to be done to DO SOMETHING
I know how important it is to have as many people informed, aware, tested and retested, all while knowing there are others that don't or won't. 
I get tired, frustrated and angry when I know that my output is nowhere near the input that is returned and today I'm MAD AS HELL! 
This journey is exhausting and nonstop. I'm on it til the end, I'm not getting off.
I'm not seeking sympathy, words of encouragement or additional motivation.  
I'm just venting because I know there is something that I'm not doing right but for the life of me I CAN'T figure it out! I can't imagine what I'd do if I received a diagnosis or my response to it.  I'm fighting so that others don't have to wonder or experience it either. 
I know that I have reached more than one, and that is my sole purpose. 
I STAND UP because I can, will, want to and have to. 
I just wish others would stand with me. 

I am and will continue to be My Sister's Keeper

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