Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy and has been for a long time.

Yes there is joy in my life and love of my family and friends.

I am BLESSED each day as I'm able to see, walk, hear and talk and enjoy all the wonders of this world.

Still, my heart is heavy.

I question why things happen the way they do and how can I change the outcome or make change that will be positive,

I question myself as to what am I doing that is not as it should be

I ask for guidance and signs so I'll know how to move forward in the right direction.

Still, my heart is heavy.

Each day I struggle to get through it and pray that I will be busy, preoccupied so I don't have to focus on my struggles.

Each day I struggle to help another avoid some stress in their lives

Each day I'm able to smile when I know that I've touched the soul of another.

I've touched a special place deep within the life of another.

Still, my heart is heavy.

No one knows or sees the heaviness that I carry.

It is not intended for others to see, it is my secret, my burden to bear.

Inside I suffer in silence and outside I have joy by the ability to help others,

Still, my heart is heavy.

It is by guidance that I'm able to do this.

It is with perseverance and determination that I'm able to carry on.

It is how it is meant to be.

Still, my heart is heavy.

So today, I ask that my load be lifted in a manner that I can handle
I ask that I not be devasted by the form in which the answer comes

I ask that I be allowed to live without this heaviness that is weighing me down

I ask that I be provided relief,

I ask, because my heart is heavy still.